THE LEGEND OF “DANCES WITH HATS”

I have Acquired Video of the Legend in action!!  This video, no doubt extremely rare is destined to sit alongside the Patterson-Gimlin “Bigfoot” footage in the annals of human history.  Judge for yourself.  But first, a recap of what is known about “Dances with Hats”

Vital Statistics:

Name:  “Dances With Hats”
Age:  52
Height:  6′0″
Weight:  Unknown
Origin:  “Lynn, Lynn City of Sin”
Occupation:  Online Poker Player
Claims to Fame: 
       -Mid 1960s:  Invented “Street Hockey” with rollerskates on the streets of Lynn
       -1976:  Bagged three broads on Saint Patty’s Day in Boston. 
       -Mid 1980s:   Pharmacist for the Rock Band, Aerosmith
       -1994:  Threw a skinny guy through a sliding glass door for “sassing” him.  Rapped “The Kennedy Remedy” 
       -2004:  Winner of the “Sexylegs” Competition on Royal Caribbean “Mariner of the Seas” Cruise Ship
Other Aliases:   “Booky Kabooky”, “JK”, “Sexylegs”, “Fishes with Hats”, “Rhymes with Hats”, “Swims with Hats” and “The All knowing and nothing not knowing one”

(”Fishes With Hats” (seen left))

(”Swims With Hats”)

The Man, The Myth, The Legend:  Not much is known of “Dances With Hats”.  Winner of the 2004 Royal Caribbean “Mariner of the Seas” Sexylegs competition, “Dances with Hats” rarely makes club appearances these days.  Legend has it that if you drink 8 “rum and cokes”, do his patented “hat swivel”, and say the words “Booky Kabooky” ten times,  “Dances with Hats” will magically appear.   Below I have acquired three rare pictures of “Dances With Hats” in action:

(”Dances with Hats” in action (seen right) alongside his protégé MikeyK)

(”Dances with Hats” in action (seen left))

(”Dances with Hats” (seen right) with his protégé MikeyK)

Exclusive Video:  

Here it is!  For all the world to see.  The one and only “Dances With Hats” in action!!

If Above Video doesn’t work: Click HERE

 

Learn to Dance like “Dances With Hats”!!  Practice these 4 steps!!

 Step 1: “The Leg Shimmy”

  Step 2:  “The Hat Swivel” 

  Step 3:  “The Super Flail”

  Step 4:  “The Pregnant Lady”

 

Who Would Win in Battle?

“Dances With Hats” Vs.  “Numa Numa Guy”

 

Winner?:   “Dances With Hats”!   -  “Dances With Hats”  would use his “Super Flail” to Booky Kabooky his ass.

“Dances With Hats” Vs.  “Star Wars Kid”

  Winner?:  “Dances With Hats!! -  “Dances With Hats”  would use his lightning quick “hat swivel of death” to axify the head off “Star Wars Kid”.

“Dances With Hats”  Vs.  “Badger, Badger”

 Winner?:  “Dances With Hats”!!! -  “Dances With Hats” eats Badgers for breakfast.  Atkins diet, baby!!!

 

Exclusive Interview: 

In January of 2006, David, the son of “Dances with Hats”, obtained an exclusive interview via MSN chat with the one and only “Dances With Hats”.  In this short interview, “Dances with Hats”, transcribed his legendary rap, “Kennedy’s your Remedy”. Click here to read the interview: “David’s Has a Heart-To-Heart With his Father”

 

Merchandise:

Now you too can Dance like “Dances With Hats!!”.   Buy your exclusive, “Dances With Hats”  Dance Caps in a variety of Kabookin styles.  Click on the Image Below:  Strut your stuff, Sexylegs!!!!  

 

Contact “Dances With Hats”:  danceswithhats@nedyken.com

Add “Dances With Hats” to your Myspace Buddy list!!.  http://www.myspace.com/danceswithhats

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